A Man Who Smiles And Eats Cabbage Can't Be Trusted
by Roxius
Summary: Four random little drabbles of Adachi X Naoto, of meeting for the first time, and an alternate take on the final confrontation with the evil psycho himself. Please R & R! Adachi has a cabbage obsession in this. Enjoy!


Disclaimer: I do not own Shin Megami Tensei.

A/N: Only the last two drabbles are connected.

Also, Adachi is fuckin' crazy throughout the entire fic...O_O, especially when it comes to dirty cabbages...

On another note, I just realized something about Mahou Sensei Negima!...it's about a ten-year-old with a bunch of high school girls who fall in love with him and KISS him...WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...?!!!!

I just noticed how FREAKISHLY DISTURBING AND WRONG it is...

* * *

_The darkness in the human heart...just what is it exactly?_

_'If I knew such things...do you really think I'd tell you?'_

_No...I suppose not..._

_'You're just a girl...a stupid, stupid bitch. A foolish little bitch...' _

_Yes...you're right...but I'm YOUR bitch..._

_'Indeed...you are MINE...'_

_Heh..._

-------------------------

"I want to thank you for the information you've provided us, Shirogane-san..." Adachi said exasperatedly over the phone, leaning back in his office chair. An untouched cup of ramen noodles sat on his desk, practically beckoning him to devour it. Adachi really hated having such long work shifts like this, especially when he had to fill in for Dojima, who was busy trying to solve another case.

"It was no problem," replied a not-so-masculine, not-so-feminine voice on the other line, "But...we are working on the same case together, correct? There is no need to be so formal. You may call me Naoto-kun, if you wish...you are several years my senior, after all..."

"...That may be true," Adachi replied, scratching his chin, "But what use is that if we'll never meet in person? I mean...c'mon! Think a little here! Heh heh! Geez!"

"...Dojima was right about you being an idiot..."

"Huh...what?!"

Then, Detective Shirogane hung up, and Adachi cursed under his breath. He slammed his cellphone shut and thrust back into his coat pocket.

'Damn Shirogane...I wonder if I can get a chance to toss him into the TV World, along with Dojima...? I could kill two annoying fucks with one stone...keh heh heh...'

-------------------

Adachi Toru let out a sigh as he picked up the fifth cabbage he had gone through at the market. A large brown stain was noticeable on the underside. It almost made Adachi want to scream in fury.

"God...can't anyone pick CLEAN cabbages these days?! Stupid fucks..." he mumbled under his breath, tossing yet another dirty cabbage back into the pile. 'You must treat all food products with loving, tender care...ESPECIALLY CABBAGES, BECAUSE THEY'RE SO SENSITIVE!!!'

Adachi was almost about to pull out his pistol, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around, and saw a young man with short blue hair staring up at him. He wore a dark-blue cap, and that butt-ugly Yasogami High school uniform. In his hands, however...was probably the most beautiful cabbage Adachi had ever laid his eyes on.

"...Uh, is there a problem, kid?" Adachi asked, trying to regain his composure.

The boy shook his head. "You can...have this."

"...T-Thank you?"

The moment Adachi took the cabbage, his fingers slightly brushed against the boy's, and the blue-haired kid's cheeks flushed red.

"You're...you're welcome..." he stammered.

Then, he ran off, and Adachi was left utterly speechless.

'W...T...F?'

-----------------

'So...it was him, after all...Adachi-san's the true murderer...'

Naoto stepped out in front of the others. "...Adachi-san..." she whispered.

Kanji held out his hand, as if to reach for her. "N-Naoto-kun...what're you-?"

"T...Take me with you..." Naoto begged.

Even Adachi's eyes grew wide in surprise by this sudden outburst from the detective prince.

Rise held her hands close to her chest. "Naoto-kun..." A single tear slid down her cheek.

Adachi snapped out of his shock, and began to chuckle, which soon formed into full-blown laughter. "HA HA HA!! IT SEEMS THAT AT LEAST ONE OF YOU IS INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND WHO WILL BE THE TRUE VICTOR AT THE END OF THIS WAR!!! YOU AND I SHALL ALWAYS BE TOGETHER, NAOTO, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WISH!!!!"

"I...I love you, Adachi-san...I want to be with you...forever..." Naoto breathed, her cheeks glowing brightly. She collapsed into Adachi's arms, and, still smirking, the cabbage-loving man quickly warped away, leaving Souji and the others frozen with both horror and confusion.

'Naoto-kun...you've...you've betrayed us...?' Souji wondered, falling to his knees.

Thrusting his hands into his pockets, Kanji turned his head away from the others, so they wouldn't see the tears flowing out of his eyes. "I don't know how, but...it seems...that she's our enemy now...even if that bastard is just using her..."

Souji nodded.

"...We might have to take her down..."

Souji nodded once again.

Rise let out a choked sob. "Naoto-kun..."

Chie, Yosuke, Yukiko and Teddie were left in a silent stupor...

---------------------------------------

Blood spurted out of Naoto's mouth as Souji sliced his sword across her chest, landing the final blow. She slowly creaked her head to the side, and watched as Adachi crashed to the blood-red floor, beaten near death. Kanji was about to run over and actually attempt to land the final blow, but it took the double-effort of both Chie and Yosuke to keep the silver-haired ruffian from committing murder due to rage, even if Adachi did deserve such a fate.

'No...don't hurt Adachi-san...' Naoto thought, but her lips wouldn't move. In fact, she felt completely numb. She was lying on the ground now as well, but she didn't even realize it yet. Her pistol laid in pieces by her feet. Tears were pouring down Souji's face like waterfalls, and he turned his gaze away from Naoto's body.

"I'm sorry...Naoto-kun..." he whispered.

'Am I...dying...?'

Suddenly, Naoto felt darkness begin to shroud around her. It was forming around Adachi as well, who semeed to be speaking to the others, completely unaware of Naoto's condition. In fact, he looked...happy...

'Does he really care about me...like he said...?'

She could feel herself sinking...sinking...into nothingness...her very soul was being forced out of her body...

...Adachi was beside her...and for a moment, she felt happy...

Then...she was gone.


End file.
